✦Weddings · 11 recordsJust engaged: the first month

The month after a proposal is when everybody else starts having opinions. This does the three things that genuinely need doing early — telling people properly, a rough budget, a rough season — and then explicitly says to pause, because nothing else is urgent.

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Goal

Told everyone, and agreed the two constraints Week 5

Then deliberately stop. Nothing else is urgent.

Tell people properly Week 2

The only genuinely time-sensitive thing.

  • List who would be hurt to hear it second-handDo firstDay 2
  • Tell them, in that orderDo firstDay 8
  • Then announce it more widelyDay 12

Two constraints, then pause Week 5

Budget and season decide almost everything else.

  • Agree a rough budget and who is contributingDo firstWeek 3
  • Agree a rough season and yearDo firstWeek 4
  • Deliberately do nothing else for a fortnightWeek 5

Routines

  • Note anything either of us actually wantsweekly
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Then stop for a bit

There is a year or more ahead, and the first month is when other people's expectations arrive hardest. Agreeing two constraints and then pausing is a much better start than a frantic fortnight of venue visits.\n\nBudget and season decide nearly everything else. Planning before them means re-deciding it all once somebody says a number out loud.

✦ Questions

Just engaged: the first month, answered.

Tell the people who would be hurt to hear it second-hand, in the right order. It costs nothing, it is the only genuinely time-sensitive thing, and it is the one people get wrong while researching venues.
After a rough budget and a rough season, and not before. Those two decide almost everything else, and planning without them means re-deciding it all once somebody says a number out loud.
Because there is a year or more ahead and the first month is when other people's expectations arrive hardest. Agreeing the two constraints and then pausing deliberately is a much better start than a frantic fortnight of venue visits.
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